Dangerous When WetAugust 6, 2020
Movie reference title. If you aren’t into old movies, this one may have blown over your head. If that’s the case, here’s the backstory on the leading lady, Esther Williams. She was a swimming champion as a teen and moved on to Hollywood to act in a myriad of aquatic related films. An important aspect of her films was what she wore while swimming. Her characters wore every type of swimsuit imaginable ranging from sensible to sequined. The suit I’ll be telling you about today is a wetsuit on the functional side, meant to be worn in the surf.
Since I’m positive Esther had her fair share, let’s first address swimsuit malfunctions. Guys, while this problem does apply, it’s not nearly as much as for women. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. You get a cute suit (sorry guys if you feel excluded for this description), you wear it to surf, and then wait for it…malfunction junction (what’s your function?). Top is off or one tit is out or atomic wedgie or bottoms pulled-off or all of the above. Then you question, based on your location and the waves coming in, do I fix the malfunction or flash / moon the line-up? It’s an understandably tough choice. My logic lands on the safety side of the equation. I’m positive I’ve mooned more lifeguards than I can count (and they really don’t care as long as they don’t have to save your ass).
You know when you absolutely positively do not want those malfunctions? In big surf. Little bikinis and large waves are a bad combination. Enter the spring suit–your new best friend. A clear winner is this suit from Isurus (their men’s wetsuits are dialed in but I didn’t shoot the men’s suit, we’re focusing on the ladies). They’ve been taking feedback from their female ambassadors to improve their women’s line and I think they hit the proverbial nail on the head with their women’s spring suit.
Shannon, one of the ambassadors, asked me to shoot her wearing her Isurus for a promotional piece. I couldn’t help take stock of what it has to offer, top to bottom. The material is Yamamoto’s newest #40 neoprene. Does that mean nothing to you? Never fear, I’ll give you a one sentence description. It’s soft, light, flexible, and warm. Next, the chest zipper hits above the boobs. This is crucial. Some chest zippers hit in a weird spot and then either the suit is returned or it’s shoved to the back of the closest as a back-up-back-up suit. No suit wants to be the back-up-back-up-you-didn’t-even-make-the-JV-team-suit. Shoulder movement is on fleek (yes, I fleek-ed). Most wetsuits feel like a workout to wear because they prohibit your range of motion. The design and material don’t make paddling feel like a free ticket on the struggle bus. Finally, the legs. The suit hits mid-thigh, Mid-thigh means you have an extra few inches of skin covered if you end up skidding across the reef.
If you’re finding yourself looking for some action in the ocean and don’t want to give a second thought to your suit after you put it on, aggghhh! I feel so predictable; but, c’est la vie. Fill in the blank ___________ (answer: Isurus Women’s Spring Suit for the W).
You’ve Funked today, the question is, what are you going to do now?
Dear Reader, that catchy closing line is under construction as I can’t close with a question or can I? Or it may endure the test of time, stay tuned, dun dun dun!
*Thanks for Funking! If you need a wetsuit, use the discount code CHRISTAHI for 25% off your Isurus wetsuit order.